ALEX REVISITED
April 22, 2004
by Joe Sobran
I don't feel like writing today. I just read one of
those books that make you feel like you've nothing left
to say. If you haven't read it, please do.
It's a tiny book called ALEX: THE LIFE OF A CHILD,
by Frank Deford, first published more than twenty years
ago now. I reread it every few years, and it never fails
to bring tears. It's Deford's account of how his little
girl died of cystic fibrosis.
Such a story is bound to be sad, but it didn't have
to be beautiful. But Deford is a gifted writer, best
known for his way of capturing the human workings of
sports. He has his ups and downs: On a bad day he is
merely very good. On his best days he is unforgettable.
One of his most inspired sports stories was a true
account of a boxing match that ended in a fighter's
death. He began by telling the reader that one of the two
young men would die, but not telling which one. Then he
wrote profiles of both young men, showing each as
lovable, admirable, full of hope, and unaware of
impending tragedy. This simple approach created terrible
suspense and pathos. All you knew was that the end was
going to be heartbreaking. And it was.
That fight convinced Deford that boxing should be
abolished. No mere argument could have made his point as
powerfully as this plain narrative of two sweet boys,
punching each other's heads. They might have been the
best of friends. Deford turned each into a vivid
character. Fictionalized, this might have been a great
short story about war; as it is, it's one of the most
moving sports stories ever written. Once you've read it,
it's hard to watch boxing with a clear conscience.
In similarly plain style, Deford tells the story of
a little girl, who happened to be his daughter, born with
a wasting disease that would kill her at age eight. Her
whole life was a painful effort to stave off death. Once
again the reader learns the tragic ending at the
beginning, and this only intensifies the suspense.
For Alex lives. Her parents know she's going to die
young, and she comes to realize it soon enough, and every
day of her life is one of torment -- a painful, incurable
lung disease, held at bay with painful therapy -- and her
father describes it all, including his own feelings, in
an unsparing, matter-of-fact way, not without humor.
He admits he's sentimental: "I cry at weddings. I
cry when people lose on TV quiz shows. I cry when people
win on TV quiz shows." His and his wife's feelings are
very much part of the story, but he lets the details of
Alex's fate speak for themselves.
Still, this poor little victim turns out to be
anything but passive. She insists on living her life as
if it might be as it should have been.
Alex plays with dolls, makes friends, asks why girls
can't do the things boys are allowed to do, fights with
her older brother (though she adores him), and plans on
growing up. "I won't have to do therapy when I'm a lady,
will I?" she asks her father hopefully.
But the sense of doom is always there. Alex laughs a
lot, even though it hurts her lungs; and after one bout
of laughing, coughing, and choking, she sits on her
father's lap and says, "Oh, Daddy, wouldn't this have
been great?" She shuns self-pity, not wanting to upset
her parents, but she can't help feeling a bit wistful
when she "imaginates" -- her own coinage -- a normal
life, "just what it would be like not to have a disease."
Pitying those who pity her, Alex tries to cheer
others up; she feels it's her responsibility. She learns
early to bring out the best in people, even other
children. But, pretty as she is, she is ashamed of the
way her disease has wasted her body and slightly deformed
her fingers. She confides her special "secret" to an
adult friend: She balls her hands into fists "so I won't
have to see my own fingers."
Rarely since J.D. Salinger has a child been brought
to such vivid life on a printed page. Frank Deford has
given his child the gift of literary immortality. How
touching to reflect he'd rather not have had to. Alex
would have been 33 this month.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Read this column on-line at
"http://www.sobran.com/columns/2004/040422.shtml".
Copyright (c) 2004 by the Griffin Internet
Syndicate, www.griffnews.com. This column may not
be published in print or Internet publications
without express permission of Griffin Internet
Syndicate. You may forward it to interested
individuals if you use this entire page,
including the following disclaimer:
"SOBRAN'S and Joe Sobran's columns are available
by subscription. For details and samples, see
http://www.sobran.com/e-mail.shtml, write
PR@griffnews.com, or call 800-513-5053."