The Reactionary Utopian
                     March 28, 2006


BUSH'S INTELLIGENCE
by Joe Sobran

     Things are getting messy. Before I address today's 
headlines, let me offer my simple, comprehensive peace 
plan for the Middle East.

     First, give Palestine back to the Brits. Then adopt 
a reverse Monroe Doctrine: the United States will stay 
out of the Eastern Hemisphere.

     Think about it.

     Okay, now to today's headlines. Abdul Rahman, the 
Afghan gent who was sentenced to death for converting to 
Christianity, has been spared. Good thing we've brought 
democracy to Afghanistan, eh? President Bush says Islam 
is a "religion of peace" that has been "hijacked" by a 
few nuts. He would know.

     One little question: Why didn't the moderate 
majority of Muslims make a peep of protest when Rahman 
was sentenced to death? Maybe Islamic "moderation" is a 
little different from ours?

     Over here, meanwhile, a couple of American 
professors, Stephen Walt of Harvard and John Mearsheimer 
of the University of Chicago, have published a long 
article on the Israel lobby, arguing that the state of 
Israel has been a huge liability for the United States. 
Having argued this myself for many years, I can tell them 
what to expect from their critics, if they don't know 
already.

     The two profs will hear the words "anti-Semitism," 
"Holocaust," "genocide," "Auschwitz," and so forth. Not 
that they'll be directly accused of these things, but 
somehow the general idea will make itself felt.

     For example, Bret Stephens, of the pro-Israel, 
pro-war WALL STREET JOURNAL, likens their article to an 
"anti-Semitic conspiracy theory," using "every canard 
ever alleged of the Jews," then adds scrupulously, "I do 
not mean to suggest that Messrs. Mearsheimer and Walt are 
themselves anti-Semitic. But ... what may not be 
anti-Semitic in intent may yet be anti-Semitic in effect. 
By giving aid and comfort to people who have no trouble 
substituting the word 'Jews' for 'Israel lobby,' the 
Mearsheimer-Walt article is anti-Semitic in effect." 
Stephens adds his kiss-of-death clincher: "No wonder 
former Ku Klux Klansman David Duke was quick to endorse 
the article...."

     "I do not mean to suggest ... But ... " After "but" 
comes the insinuation. Analogy: "I do not mean to suggest 
that John Doe is himself a Soviet agent. But, well, just 
look at the people who are applauding his article! Draw 
your own conclusions."

     Mearsheimer and Walt aren't facing a deadly tiger, 
but a Tasmanian devil -- a nasty, filthy beast that won't 
kill you, but will leave you with bites, scratches, and 
an infection. They are facing fanatical Jews who claim to 
speak for all Jews.

     You can argue that Judaism too is a religion of 
peace -- Jerusalem is the City of Peace -- that has been 
hijacked by Zionist warmongers. But I guess that would be 
anti-Semitic. In effect, if not in intent, if you follow 
me.

     The idea of the Chosen People returning to the Holy 
Land at last, after thousands of years, is an inspiring 
one. But the wrong people took it up and executed it in 
the wrong way -- with a state that drove the natives out 
and created endless bitterness.

     Still, I've come to believe that the United States, 
not Israel, is the chief culprit in the Middle East, 
which, to be sure, is a region overrun with culprits. We 
think of Christianity as a religion of peace, but imagine 
if, in this country, Methodists and Baptists were blowing 
up each others' churches. That gives you a rough idea of 
the difficulty of pacifying Iraq after invading and 
disrupting it.

     It's a little late in the day to see Americans as 
"innocents abroad," as I once did. The rest of the world 
no longer sees us as well-meaning oafs, seduced by the 
Zionists. It thinks we're big boys now who ought to know 
what we're doing and be held responsible. This is called 
"anti-Americanism," which seems to be very much like, and 
closely related to, "anti-Semitism."

     Bush has tried to salvage his innocence by blaming 
"faulty intelligence," but then continuing on the same 
course anyway. Attila the Hun also relied on 
intelligence: he never invaded without consulting his 
astrologer and being assured it was a slam-dunk. 
Apparently, judging by his successful record, his 
astrologer was more reliable than the CIA. So was Nancy 
Reagan's. The lesson for Bush is obvious.

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