SOBRAN'S -- The Real News of the Month September 2005 Volume 12, Number 9 Editor: Joe Sobran Publisher: Fran Griffin (Griffin Communications) Managing Editor: Ronald N. Neff Subscription Rates. Print version: $36 for six months; $72 per year; $144 for 2 years. For special discounted subscription offers and e-mail subscriptions see www.sobran.com, or call the publisher's office. Address: SOBRAN'S, P.O. Box 1383, Vienna, VA 22183-1383 Fax: 703-281-6617 Website: www.sobran.com Publisher's Office: 703-255-2211 or www.griffnews.com Foreign Subscriptions (print version only): Add $1.25 per issue for Canada and Mexico; all other foreign countries, add $1.75 per issue. Credit Card Orders: Call 1-800-513-5053. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery of your first issue. CONTENTS Features -> The Word No Liberal Knows -> After the Flood (plus electronic Exclusives) -> Sorry, Wrong Numbers -> Huck and His Conscience Nuggets (plus electronic Exclusives) "Reactionary Utopian" Columns Reprinted in This Issue FEATURES The Word No Liberal Knows (page 1) Given its lead time, this journal generally avoids weather reports, but I can't help noticing that, if the mainstream news media are to be trusted, the Gulf Coast has had difficulties with the elements of late. Allowing for some exaggeration, verging on sensationalism, let us provisionally concede these reports a core of truth. Liberals, until now frustrated in their desire to discredit President Bush with the American public, have pounced on the chance to blame him for the alleged disaster in New Orleans. They haven't actually accused him of causing Hurricane Katrina, but they charge him with having failed to prepare for her, with responding inadequately, and with indifference to the plight of her victims, especially the poor black ones. Now I'd be happy to see Bush impeached, but not for this. He has plenty of other things to answer for, so many I've lost count. He has sworn to uphold the U.S. Constitution twice now, and he hardly seems to grasp what this entails; but I can't find any clause in my copy of the document assigning to the executive, or to any branch of the Federal Government, responsibility for the weather. Not that that's going to stop liberals, who want government at every level to take responsibility (with appropriate power) for everything, from global warming to individual health. People may laugh or cringe when it begins to wage war on obesity, but why not? It's a perfectly logical extension of what the Superstate is already doing. Liberals don't read Aristotle, so they never ask themselves whether there is an optimum degree of government power, a Golden Mean beyond which it must not go. The word no liberal uses is "enough." There is no such thing as too much government. There is no point at which, say, Ted Kennedy will ever sigh with satisfaction and say, "Well, we've made it. We've finally reached our goal. At long last we have all the government we need, and we don't need any more. Even one more law or regulation, in fact, might be excessive. We are approaching the bursting point." Not that liberals don't oppose some laws -- they certainly do, but never on grounds of excess. In the Aristotelian spirit, the conservative philosopher Michael Oakeshott calls governing "a specific and limited activity"; that is, limited =because= it is specific. Such talk is alien to the idiom of liberalism, with its boundless faith in power, its flamboyantly reckless idealism, its aversion to definition. Those who resist the expansion of the state are said to "oppose change," to "lack compassion," to be "mean-spirited." It's all so simple. The liberal coin has no obverse. On all occasions, at every contingency or opportunity, state power must grow. That's the real trouble with Bush: he's a liberal too. Despite his abrupt and anomalous conservative gestures (whose meaning is, as he might say, misoverestimated), he buys the major premise: state power must grow. When liberalism results in predictable harms -- social chaos, cultural decay, waste, inflation, colossal self-compounding public debt -- the only remedy is more liberalism. No se habla el aristotelianismo aqui. The Moving Picture (page 2) After the Flood As the Forces of Evil (alias Progress) were trying to build some sort of case against confirming John Roberts to the U.S. Supreme Court, Chief Justice William Rehnquist's long career ended forever. He'd done what he could, over more than three decades, to curb the Court's liberalism, albeit in a piecemeal fashion, during which period Roberts had served as one of his clerks. President Bush took the unprecedented (I think) step of promoting Roberts's nomination from associate to chief justice. The plot thickens. * * * And with another vacancy to be filled, the Court's new session begins with Sandra Day O'Connor temporarily returning from what we'd hoped was her retirement. Well, the libs have been demanding another O'Connor, and now they've got the original Swingin' Sandy back, at least for a spell. Let's hope all those glowing obituaries haven't gone to her head. * * * New Orleans continues to wash up toxic notions. George Will draws the moral that it proves the "conservative" case for government, viz., that "the first business of government, on which =everything= depends, is security." (His emphasis.) Oddly, Will quotes Hobbes rather than Burke to make his point. And he also says Katrina makes the "liberal" case for government, viz., "the indispensability, and dignity, of the public sector." Would that include the city's notoriously crooked politicians? * * * THE NEW YORK TIMES rushed to the defense of -- surprise, surprise! -- the mostly poor, black looters. In such dire circumstances, looting shouldn't be a crime, should it? Well, nobody is likely to be shot, much less prosecuted, for taking food. But televisions? (With no place to plug them in, the looters should be shot for stupidity.) Such defenders are only helping confirm the racial stereotypes they're forever deploring. Why do white liberals love black criminals so much? The sort of black who was once called "a credit to his race" can expect the TIMES to ignore him; the sort once said to "give the whole group a bad name" gets the front page. * * * Katrina has put Bush in a strange position. She has almost totally -- and, it would seem, permanently -- eclipsed the Iraq war on which he has staked his hopes for a lasting legacy. He will be remembered chiefly for being the guy in the White House when two terrible disasters struck, both finding him surprised and unprepared. The 9/11 attacks and Katrina occurred almost exactly four years apart, one early in his first term, the other early in his second. And just as the one allowed him to create the illusion of mastery for a time, the second has exposed him as helpless in the face of events. * * * THE WEEKLY STANDARD is already -- is it possible? -- ten years old! The neocon mag is saluted by Peter Carlson of the WASHINGTON POST for its "excellent" writing, and for being "America's funniest right-wing magazine, although there is not, alas, much competition for that title." So much for Bill Buckley's NATIONAL REVIEW, which turns 50 this year, if anybody cares. Exclusive to electronic media: Reviewing a biography of the great literary critic Edmund Wilson, Jonathan Yardley of the POST cites his many faults. Wilson was "arrogant, demanding, self-centered, priapic, alcoholic, abusive." He had a fearful temper, cheated on all four of his wives, may also have beaten them, turned venomously on his friends, mooched off his mother, and -- crowning infamy! -- "declined to pay taxes for many years until the IRS finally caught up with him." Just when I was beginning to like him. Sorry, Wrong Numbers (pages 3-4) Major league baseball is widely assumed to exemplify economic determinism. Big money buys big talent, and the Yankees and Braves win most of the pennants; George Steinbrenner routinely shells out enough millions to get players like Gary Sheffield, Alex Rodriguez, and Randy Johnson. In short, money wins. An unedifying moral, except maybe to Steinbrenner and Ted Turner. But in recent years there has been a notable exception: the penurious Oakland A's have been winning with front-office brains instead of stars on the field. Unlike chess, a stronghold for kooky geniuses, baseball has inspired little creative thinking (though a lot of literature, most of it pretty bad). True, intellectuals love it ostentatiously, but it typically finds its fullest expression in cliches and statistics that don't leave much room for irony. But suddenly the stolid game is changing. Thinking has invaded baseball. There have even been nuance sightings in this unlikely precinct. Baseball isn't a total stranger to high intelligence, however. From time to time, players, scientists, and ordinary fans have proposed new approaches to its basic situations. You might not think a game based on a simple skill -- hitting a sphere with a cylinder -- would offer much room for either subtlety or error, but it does. Between his retirement and his decapitation, Ted (.406) Williams wrote an excellent little book called THE SCIENCE OF HITTING. And it really did reduce hitting a baseball to a science. For instance, he calculated that a batter who swings at pitches even a single inch outside the strike zone dramatically enlarges the area of the pitcher's target by a precisely quantifiable ratio. Do the math. Around the same time, a Johns Hopkins professor named Earnshaw Cook used statistics to show the inefficiency of some hallowed baseball tactics. The stats showed, for example, that the sacrifice bunt was a bad deal: the out wasn't justified by the chance of gaining a run. Cook also argued that managers should plan on using three pitchers per game, so that they would bat as seldom as possible (this was before the designated hitter). He reckoned that a pitcher was usually at his best for no more than about five innings anyway. In 1977 Bill James made his debut in print (or mimeograph, anyway) with an iconoclastic approach to the stats that eventually led to a practical revolution in the game on the field. The standard stats were misleading, he argued. Batting averages were poor measures of a hitter's offensive value, because they gave no credit for drawing walks; it was as if the base on balls were nothing more than a pitcher's mistake. Fielding averages were perverse, since they gave excessive importance to errors; after all, a shortstop quick enough to reach balls slower shortstops would miss entirely would be penalized by an "average" that gave him no credit for range. James may have been the first fan to find irony in stats after all. Michael Lewis, a popular financial writer sums up his central insight: "The many little injustices and misunderstandings embedded in the game's records spawned exotic inefficiencies. Baseball strategies were often wrongheaded and baseball players were systematically misunderstood." Faulty statistics finally produced, from James's perspective, "the greatest accounting scandal in professional sports." Such theorizing about baseball is no longer just the preoccupation of nerds. In his bestseller MONEYBALL: THE ART OF WINNING AN UNFAIR GAME (Norton), Lewis tells the gripping story of how the Oakland A's have confounded financial determinism, beating far richer teams by putting radical ideas to work. Besides theoretical acumen of a high order, Lewis narrates this strange eventful history with delicious anecdotes, character studies, and hilarity. He tells it as a business story, in which the avatars of financial determinism come up against a man who knows how to exploit "market inefficiencies." Oakland's young general manager Billy Beane was quick to see the implications of Bill James's studies. They led to a whole new way of evaluating players. A team didn't need big (and expensive) stars; it needed players with skills that were underrated, skills the traditional stats didn't usually capture. Beane looked for guys who could do simple things like patiently drawing walks. Walks meant runs; and a lineup that took a lot of pitches would not only score a lot of runs, it would also wear down opposing pitchers. Throwing a hundred pitches in two hours is, after all, hard work. Beane would eagerly trade away big-name players (with big contracts) to get unknown players cheap. He saw promise where nobody else did, because he realized that the more spectacular players were overrated -- and overpaid. He packed the A's with young players who were stunned to discover that any major league team would want them. Even the team's owners were wary. They understandably didn't want to bet too much money on bizarre theories contradicting everything they "knew." Only Beane's assistant Paul DePodesta grasped what he was up to and fully supported him. A soft-spoken eccentric named Chad Bradford had been a mediocre pitcher since high school in Mississippi, where his own coach had seen no particular talent in him; Beane grabbed him when he'd nearly given up on a baseball career, and he became a star with an 84-mile-an-hour fastball. His submarine delivery looked odd, but just try hitting a home run off it. If you really connected with his fastball -- if that's the word for the pitiful thing -- you might get a hard groundout. But as the great lefty Warren Spahn used to say, "Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing." After Bradford set up hitters with his 69-mile-an-hour changeup, he could confound them with that 84-mile-an-hour blazer. Beane put a premium on temperament. He learned about that the hard way. He had been a young player of astonishing talent; in college and the minor leagues, he already looked destined for the Hall of Fame. He awed scouts and coaches with his hitting, power, fielding, even pitching; you name it, he could do it incomparably. Even in the majors, he had his moments, as when he went 5 for 5 against the Yankees' great lefty Ron Guidry, one of his hits a home run. But he went hitless in his next two games and was removed from the lineup; soon he was back in the minors. Every failure made him play worse; he pressed too hard, and barely hit .200 at any level, until he quit in frustration. If ever a player showed "promise," it was Billy Beane. But he was outperformed by mediocre teammates who could shrug off failure with their confidence in themselves unimpaired. If he'd been able to do that, he'd be in Cooperstown today. But despite his talent and maybe because of his intensity, he fell apart. His own experience taught Beane that promise meant nothing; performance was everything. And he learned to define performance in unconventional ways. He could glance at a kid's statistics and pick up things the scouts who'd studied him up close for months hadn't noticed, because they hadn't known what to look for. Often, Lewis reports, the scouts would dismiss a prospect because he didn't "look like" a ballplayer -- too short, too slight, too fat. Beane might grab him anyway, if the numbers showed he got on base. Beane became a connoisseur of seeming mediocrities. Ted Williams, by the way, had never despised the base on balls. In a war-shortened career he'd drawn almost as many walks as Babe Ruth, and his lifetime on-base average remains the highest in baseball history. He wouldn't chase a bad pitch on the chance of hitting a homer (though he was also a great power hitter). Beane, by contrast, had badly hurt his career by swinging at bad pitches and had drawn few walks. But Bean's counterintuitive methods of assessing players -- the less they resemble him, the better he seems to like them -- are still winning. Just this year, the A's were slumping badly; then Beane traded away two All-Star pitchers, and the team shot to the top of the standings. Organized baseball now understands that on-base and slugging averages are better measures of offensive ability than batting averages; but otherwise it hasn't caught up with Beane, whom many front-office honchos still regard as a flake and a fluke. Still, he has succeeded often enough that other general managers have learned to be very cautious when Beane takes an interest in one of their players, especially players of no apparent distinction. What's he seeing in these guys that everyone else is missing? Lewis has a dizzying, funny chapter on Beane's frenetic but cunning approach to trading, which he usually does by cell phone. Lewis never even mentions the biggest scandal in baseball today: steroid use. But he might have. That problem has resulted from baseball's obsession with power, the 500-foot home run and the 100-mile-an-hour fastball. These things attract fans, and therefore tycoons offering fat contracts, because you don't have to savor the fine points of the game to appreciate a moon shot. Admittedly the blood doesn't thrill much to see a skinny second baseman lay off bad pitches and trot to first base, and it's hardly more exciting to see the shortstop single him home for what will later prove the winning run. MONEYBALL could easily have been written as a sententious treatise on the virtues of (yawn) delayed gratification. Instead, Lewis tells the tale of how Billy Beane became the tortoise who whipped all the hares. Huck and His Conscience (pages 5-6) I remember my fourth-grade teacher pretty well, except for her name. I think it started with an M. Miss Moran? That sounds about right. Anyway, she was a very refined and kind-hearted young woman who'd come up to Michigan from down South, so innocent that she didn't understand (or at least pretended she didn't) an extremely naughty word, "turd," when the class clown, Bobby Turner, made a joke about it. "Turd?" she repeated, somewhat mystified. "I don't believe I know that one, Robert." We all felt very wicked as we snickered. All of which makes it seem strange, now, that she could do what she did for many consecutive days: she read THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN aloud to the class. In her gently honeyed accent, she spoke the word "nigger" without the least compunction. Where she came from, it was a harmless colloquialism, though my mother had taught me it was rude. (My Dad used it as freely as Huck's Pap.) But we were a bunch of little white kids, and it didn't affect us. Today, it goes without saying, Miss Moran would lose her job in a flash. I'm lucky I knew her when I did, back when you could enjoy Mark Twain without facing legal repercussions. And when she read him to us, in her expressive voice, so perfect for Huck and Pap and Jim and Miss Watson and the Duke and the King, I was in a state of bliss that today's children are carefully protected from. Floating down a mighty river on a raft! With one good friend and no parents! It was a boy's vision of heaven. Most of Twain's humor went over my head; but the sheer adventure enthralled me. I loved the book so much that I went home and read it through for myself, then read it again and again and again. My mother would make me popcorn as I sprawled on the carpet with my book. At age 10 I wanted to be a writer. I wrote stories about boys running away from home and having adventures, though they tended to peter out after a few pages. Having also read THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER, I thought Twain was just writing for boys, so I was later surprised to learn that HUCK FINN was regarded as a serious classic. When in my teens I went through my Hemingway phase, I found that Hemingway himself had called the book the fountainhead of all subsequent American fiction. When my first son was about 10, I read part of it aloud to him, and was delighted when he laughed at parts I'd seen no humor in at his age. He thought Pap's boozy railing about "that nigger" was a riot; I didn't have to explain to him what irony was. Twain couldn't have predicted today's state-sponsored touchiness about the N-word; but he knew that the cunning use of regional American English, even in the mouth of an unschooled, naive, superstitious boy who has never questioned the prejudices of his time and place, could say more about morality than any sermon could. One morning, far down the Mississippi, Huck finds Jim in a sad mood: "He was thinking about his wife and his children, away up yonder, and he was low and homesick; because he hadn't ever been away from home in his life; and I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folk do for their'n. It don't seem natural, but I reckon it's so." Then, instead of reaching a universal moral about the human race, Huck draws the only lesson he can: "He was a mighty good nigger, Jim was." Despite its improbabilities, HUCK FINN is convincing because Huck's own voice always rings true, even when Twain is inviting us to laugh at him. Huck is only a boy, but he describes calm nights, mournful sounds, and violent storms on the Mississippi with vivid, evocative eloquence: Pretty soon it darkened up, and begun to thunder and lighten; ... Directly it begun to rain, and it rained like all fury, too, and I never seen the wind blow so. It was one of these regular summer storms. It would get so dark that it looked all blue-black outside, and lovely; and the rain would thrash along by so thick that the trees off a little ways looked dim and spider-webby; and here would come a blast of wind that would bend the trees down and turn up the pale underside of the leaves; and then a perfect ripper of a gust would follow along and set the branches to tossing their arms as if they was just wild; and next, when it was just about the bluest and blackest -- fst! It was as bright as glory, and you'd have a little glimpse of treetops a-plunging about a way off yonder in the storm, hundreds of yards further than you could see before; dark as sin again in a second, and now you'd hear the thunder let go with an awful crash, and then go rumbling, grumbling, tumbling, down the sky towards the under side of the world, like rolling empty barrels down-stairs -- where it's long stairs and they bounce a good deal, you know. I never saw the river until middle age, but I felt I'd known it all my life. It's hardly necessary to mention Twain's mastery of dialect and dialogue. Huck's affection for Jim, his only friend, sets his heart against everything he has ever been taught. He recognizes that helping a runaway slave escape is "a low-down thing" that could give him a bad name and forfeit his soul as well; he imagines his own conscience demanding, "What had poor Miss Watson done to you that you could see her nigger go off right under your eyes and never say one single word? What did that poor old woman do to you that you could treat her so mean?" Jim speaks of saving enough money to buy his wife and children from their current owner; or, if he refused to sell, of having an Abolitionist steal them for him. Huck comments, "It most froze me to hear such talk.... Here was this nigger, which I had as good as helped to run away, coming right out flat-footed and saying he would steal his children -- children that belonged to a man I didn't even know; a man that hadn't ever done me no harm." (Huck's novel application of the Golden Rule shows again when he decides against leaving the murderers to drown: "I says to myself, there ain't no telling but I might come to be a murderer myself yet, and then how would I like it?") But in the end, personal friendship and gratitude to Jim for countless kindnesses prevail over morality, as he understands it; and in the book's most famous sentence, he shocks himself with his decision: "All right, then, I'll =go= to hell." An act of charity makes him feel like Macbeth. He has a clear duty to betray his only friend. Twain's alertness to religious humbug colors the whole book. His satiric eye and ear are never sharper than when the fraudulent King and Duke feign piety to raise money. These two frontier sharpsters provide some of the funniest episodes in a book that is all episodes; in his author's notice to the reader, Twain warns that "persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot." And so far, nobody has found one. We see such incidents as Huck's escape from his Pap; his faking his own death; his meeting with Jim, Miss Watson's fugitive slave; his disguising himself as a girl; his discovery and prevention of a planned murder; the mysterious floating House of Death; the mad feud between the Shepherdsons and the Grangerfords; the pseudo-Shakespearean production of the King and Duke; their unruffled effrontery even when their absurd frauds are detected; their near-lynching; Huck's crafty efforts to outwit them and protect their intended victims; the shooting of the drunken Boggs by the magnificent misanthrope Colonel Sherburn, who then faces down a lynch mob. All these are unforgettable, with many brilliant character sketches. Finally comes the climactic episode that Hemingway rightly called a "cheat." Huck arrives at a farm where Jim has been captured, the mistress of which just happens to be Tom Sawyer's aunt. She just happens to be expecting a visit from Tom, she mistakes Huck for him, and Huck allows her to think so. Tom just happens to arrive at a convenient moment, and he goes along with the deception as he hatches a romantic and needlessly elaborate plan to free Jim. In the end Jim is rescued not by this scheme, but by Miss Watson back home in Missouri, who we learn just happens to have set him free before her death. It's all quite unbelievable, breaking the realistic tone of the whole novel. I've never understood why Twain thinks Tom Sawyer is so funny; more important, Tom as a character is far less interesting than Huck. We've gotten to know Huck's deepest thoughts and feelings, and he is real to us in a way Tom can never be. Twain should have realized this. For all his piercing wit, he shows Huck and Jim with great tenderness, and he violates their dignity when he makes them subordinate figures in a farce. The book is much better, and far funnier, when he allows them to converse alone on the raft on the great river. * * * Like Walt Whitman and Henry James, Twain was a Shakespeare skeptic, scornful of the idea that the son of Stratford could have written the plays. His keen ear for regional language was probably one of the reasons; he had traversed the gap between Huck's Missouri dialect -- the language of his own boyhood -- and the fancy literary lingo of the Northeast he'd migrated to and achieved fame in, and he must have noticed that Mr. Shakspere had failed to make a similar linguistic ascent from Stratford to literary London. It could only have amused him that the poet famed for his "fine-filed lines" in London should have been supposed to have retired to Stratford, where his Muse could inspire nothing but the crude doggerel inscribed on his gravestone, ending, "And curst be he that moves my bones." =This= is the last verse composed by the greatest English poet of all time? Twain knew a fraud when he saw one. NUGGETS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL NOTE: During the two years I studied Latin in high school, I never figured out how little Roman children could make split-second decisions about whether to use the dative or the ablative case. It always took me about half a minute to choose. But I really threw in the towel on my Classical studies when I learned that Greek kids had known how to use the aorist tense. Damn brats. (page 8) COMMENDATION: If you want to dope out the debate on Darwinism without getting into technicalities, you can hardly do better than to read C.S. Lewis's little book MIRACLES: A PRELIMINARY STUDY. Lewis refined his argument and revised the book after being bruised, if not exactly defeated, in a famous debate with the philosopher G.E.M. Anscombe. (page 9) THE P-WORD: The John Roberts confirmation hearings have made one thing abundantly clear: debasing yet another good old word, liberals have turned "privacy" into a euphemism for sodomy and abortion. Meanwhile, they want the state to violate every kind of privacy worth having. Exclusive to electronic media: PRESIDENTIAL PICKLE: Early in his first term, President Bush was able to handle the 9/11 attacks by declaring war. But early in his second term, almost exactly four years later, Hurricane Katrina has caught him flat-footed. You can't declare war on Mother Nature, so he's in a real pickle. Let's see how Karl Rove gets him out of this one. BEST NEWS OF THE MONTH: All is not lost. Low-priced boxed sets of Astaire-Rodgers musicals and Alec Guinness comedies, five DVDs each, are now available. BEYOND PENUMBRAL EMANATIONS: Neocon Charles Krauthammer predicts, approvingly, that Chief Justice Roberts won't vote to overturn Roe v. Wade because it would be just too darned disruptive at this point. That was exactly the reasoning of Sandra O'Connor and the Swingers in Planned Parenthood v. Casey in 1992, as they upheld Roe for the sake of social stability -- and the Court's own prestige. In fact, that's an excellent argument against returning to the Constitution in general. Why, just imagine the huge dislocations that would ensue if the U.S. Government observed its own fundamental law! REPRINTED COLUMNS ("The Reactionary Utopian") (pages 7-12) * Disasters, Natural and Political (December 28, 2004) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2004/041228.shtml * The Queer Bard? (August 30, 2005) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2005/050830.shtml * The Case of the "Randy Rector" (September 1, 2005) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2005/050901.shtml * Michael Oakeshott and New Orleans (September 6, 2005) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2005/050906.shtml * Hamnet's Father (September 13, 2005) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2005/050913.shtml * The Era of Bad Feelings, Cont'd. (September 15, 2005) http://www.sobran.com/columns/2005/050915.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All articles are written by Joe Sobran. You may forward this newsletter if you include the following subscription and copyright information: Subscribe to the Sobran E-Package. See http://www.sobran.com/e-mail.shtml or http://www.griffnews.com for details and samples or call 800-513-5053. Copyright (c) 2005 by The Vere Company -- www.sobran.com. All rights reserved. Distributed by the Griffin Internet Syndicate www.griffnews.com with permission. [ENDS]